Blessed

I just wanted to update and let everyone know that things are going fine so far. I know everyone is still asking how I'm feeling etc., and want to let everyone know that I actually feel completely fine. I have had absolutely no pain or discomfort at all, but that doesn't really mean anything. I felt completely fine the day I started bleeding, and still felt fine while bleeding. There is just no warning sign - I can be completely fine one minute and then start bleeding the next, so it is just the fear of the unknown.
To answer several more questions:
Yes, my mom is still taking the kids back home with her this weekend. There is absolutely no way that I can be left here to watch the kids by myself. If it was just Brayden then maybe, but with a 2 year old it is impossible.
Yes, this is our last baby. I had really wanted one more, although Rubin was completely against it (which doesn't mean much....I'm convinced I would have eventually gotten my way :)). After hemmoraging with Cameron and now this, I have decided that there is no way I can put myself or my family through this situation again, so I will have my tubes tied during my c-section. Maybe we can adopt someday.... ;)
Work is being very flexible and we are currently trying to come up with a plan for me to work from home so that I don't have to go on disability for quite as long since it is only 50% pay. This will be a huge blessing for us, and it's not like I have anything better to do while laying here!!
For those who have asked what they can do for us - this week we are fine because my mom is still here so she is feeding me :) After she goes home next week with the boys, visits, food, anything would be welcome. I will be laying here by myself day after day while Rubin is working, and meals are limited to me grabbing something out of the fridge and maybe using the microwave for a few seconds. If it requires standing for longer than that, I'm not allowed to do it, so my meal options will be pretty limited fora while.
I think that answers most of the questions from people but feel free to ask if you want to know anything else :)
I also want to take a few minutes to thank my family for how amazing they have been. My mom just took off and flew up here on a minutes notice, and Rubin's family has been awesome with helping out and stopping by. I also have gotten several pair of VS Pink pants, since I was wearing my absolute favorite pair on Thursday and had to throw them away (and I don't just go by myself $50 sweatpants on a regular basis so these were kind of a prized possession!). I am truly blessed and feel very loved and cared for. I also wanted to quickly mention that the nurses at the hospital were A-MA-ZING. They all genuinely seemed to care about how I was doing and would call or stop by on their days off just to check on me. They were all super!!

Well I have been home for almost a day now, and although I was a little nervous about leaving the hospital, I have to say I'm very thankful to be here. I was able to sleep in my own comfy bed last night, spend time with my husband, mom and kids, watch TV, and sit on my own couch. I just sat outside on the patio for a couple of hours and watched the boys play in the pool and sprinkler (and enjoyed a little sun!). I know everyone is worried about me following orders to stay put, and I completely understand why you all are. I know that I can be a "little" stubborn at times :) But I also know that this is what I have to do and I will do anything I'm told to keep this baby safe and healthy, so I'm listening. It's not easy - there are definitely more temptations to get up while at home and I keep seeing things I need to pick up or throw away etc, but I'm trying to just let it go and relax. I feel like a complete lazy bum - it's so weird that a week ago I felt guilty that I haven't really been exercising, and now I'm not even allowed to stand up for more than 10 minutes a day.
Today I told Brayden that he would be going to Nana's house for a couple of weeks, and was a little nervous that he would be sad to leave me and wonder why I wasn't coming, but we just told him it was his summer vacation since we can't all go on one now. He will get to go to my mom's daycare which has a "summer camp" type program and he is soooo excited about it. He said "I get to go on vacation for 2 whole weeks without my parents? Wow, most kids probably don't get to do that." Hopefully he handles it well while he's down there - I'm sure they'll keep him busy enough!!!
I can't express again how thankful we are for all of the prayers and well wishes from everyone. I know I haven't responded to you all, but I have read every message and we are very appreciative of everything.

Home!

Well I just talked to the doctor and they are going to let me go home. Everyone seems to be a little nervous still (including nurses and doctors), but she said that she feels comfortable that I live so close and can get here quickly if anything happens. She said now is the time to try and see how it goes and see if I do okay at home. I am not allowed to leave the house other than to come to dr appointments and can't stand longer than it takes to take a shower, but they will allow me to go upstairs at the end of the day to go to bed so at least I don't have to sleep on the couch. It is still going to be a very long and boring summer, but hopefully I will be more comfortable at home. Chances are I may end up in and out of the hospital a few more times over the next couple of months, but hopefully things remain stable enough that it won't be too crazy.
Thank you all for the kind words, thoughts, prayers, visits, and junk food (the nurses are constantly commenting on my candy stash). From this point on, I guess no news is good news!! I will update as things change!

25 Weeks!

I am 25 weeks along today - thankful for every week that passes :)
I just had my ultrasound and they no longer think I have vasa previa. There are veins there, but they appear to be over to the right and not covering the cervix. I still have the placenta previa and partial abruption, so I am still considered high risk for bleeding again. They are considering sending me home on strict bed rest. My OB should be stopping by my room at some point this afternoon to talk to me about it and we will go from there. She mentioned this morning that if I go home I should expect to probably be back and forth to the hospital a few more times throughout the pregnancy. I will update everyone after I talk to her, but either way it is great news that there is no vasa previa!

Sunday

Nothing much to update today. Things are still good. They have taken me off the IV and I'm allowed to shower once a day which is kind of exciting. They moved me downstairs to the mother/baby unit yesterday since things appear so stable, so I guess that's good. The room is a little cozier, but a hospital room is a hospital room. The specialist stopped by again this morning just to check in. At this point we are still just waiting on the ultrasound tomorrow. If it is vasa previa, I am for sure here until delivery and she thinks they'll probably move me back upstairs because any bleeding will be a dire emergency. If it's not vasa previa, chances are that I might be sent home and then I don't know what the restrictions will be there - still full bed rest, partial, nothing? I didn't ask too many questions today - will just wait and see what they say tomorrow.
I will be 25 weeks tomorrow, so that's huge. The survival rate goes up with every week he stays in there!!
Everyone keeps asking how I'm staying so calm and positive, and I really have no explanation other than that God is just giving me a sense of peace about everything. There is no way that given the situation I was in when I walked in here on Thursday that I should not be hysterical, but I have just had this feeling of "everything is going to be ok" and can't really explain it. And what's the point in whining and complaining about bed rest. No, it's not ideal or fun, but this is where I need to be so I might as well have a positive attitude and make the best of it. Every little freedom I get is a big deal and I am appreciative of them, and also know that they can all be taken away immediately if something else happens.
Well, they are getting ready to hook me up to the monitor for an hour, so gotta go. Just keep praying!! So far they are working!!

Still Waiting

At this point nothing has changed - we are still just sitting and waiting, and I'm still pregnant! I saw a MFM (maternal fetal medicine specialist) this morning and it was just a quick check in. She is a partner of the guy who has been treating me, and we are just waiting for another ultrasound on Monday to have more answers. They are still not 100% sure that I have Vasa Previa because there was a blood clot blocking the view when they did the ultrasound on Thursday. He wants to look at it again on Monday and see if that's still what they think is going on. Basically, if it is Vasa Previa, I am here until delivery. If it's not and is just the placenta and blood clot they are seeing, they may send me home, although if I bleed again I am here to stay. So at this point, we just have to sit and wait and pray for no more bleeding before Monday and then hope that they can get a better picture with the ultrasound.
I have been doing a little research on everything they have told me about, and feel that this is actually a blessing in disguise. Most of the time, vasa previa is not diagnosed before delivery, and then during delivery the veins can rupture and threaten the life of the baby. Because they know (well, I guess think) I have it, I am in much better shape because we know I have to have a c-section and will not let me go into labor on my own so that we do not put Carter in danger of losing his blood supply. We just still have to hope and pray that it does not spontaneously bleed on it's own.
Several people have asked what they can do to help us out, and honestly right now I can't think of anything. My mom is on her way here as we speak and will be taking care of the boys at our house for the week and depending on how things look after this week she may take them back to Arkansas with her for a few weeks, so at this point child care is taken care of. I don't really need food or anything - I have snacks that a couple of people have brought over and can order anything I want from room service. Meals for the family aren't necessary because A) my mom will be at home and can get the boys fed and B) Rubin and the boys don't really eat normal meals anyway...
For those of you who have asked about visiting, feel free to come by anytime. I am in the labor and delivery unit so there are no visiting hours. The only restrictions are 4 people in the room at a time and no children besides my own. Please do not feel like you will be bothering me by calling, emailing, texting, or visiting. I am just laying here with nothing else to do so entertainment is welcome anytime!!!
Again, thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers!!!

Freedom!

So I just saw the Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist and they are very pleased with the way everything is going so far. I have not bled at all in over 24 hours and the baby's heart rate has remained stable. They took me off the catheter and I am now allowed to get out of bed to walk to the bathroom. We still have a long road ahead of us and things could change at any moment, but for right now things are looking good. He said that delivery does not seem imminent so they have taken me off of the antibiotics and magnesium. They are going to do another ultrasound on Monday to see if they can get a better view of what is covering my cervix. They have a suspicion that it is the baby's blood vessel, and if that's the case I am still very high risk and will be here until delivery. If it isn't, things look a little better but I still won't be out of the woods. Thank you all for the prayers!! We are feeling them so much and appreciate them more than you all know!!