Today's post is a more personal, emotional one. I'm not trying to complain or make people feel sorry for me, I have just had a lot of time to think and need to get it off my chest.
I have lived in Illinois for 7 and 1/2 years now, and I still do not have anyone here that I can call my best friend. I have always been so busy with my family that it has never been a big deal I guess, but now that I'm sitting here alone every day the realization has kind of slapped me in the face. I mean I don't want to sound pathetic - I have a lot of good friends up here. I have work friends, church friends, Rubin's friends, and his family. But to them I will always just be a "work friend" or "Rubin's wife." I don't have a special connection with anyone here that I can truly call a best friend, and that they could say the same about me. I still have best friends from high school and college, but they all live over 12 hours away from me. I don't have anyone to just to shopping with or go out to lunch with, or right now that will just come over and hang out with me and keep me company for a couple of hours. I know that it's my own fault - I have never really made the time to form relationships with people. I have always had an excuse, but with working, going to school, and having young kids at home I'm not really sure where I'm supposed to find the time.
Okay I'm done whining for now - I guess after 3 weeks of sitting here the loneliness is starting to kick in, especially without my boys here to at least keep me busy and entertained. Maybe it's the fact that I just watched Sex and the City 2, which was a terrible movie, but I guess I'm just jealous that they all have each other.
Guess I'll go watch some more HGTV or start a new book :)