So everyone is asking what they can do to help. To be honest, I'm not really sure. I don't know how to ask for help - it's not something I've ever really done. I am the type of person that will just try and do everything and then beat myself up when I can't, but right now I'm in a position that I can't do anything so here goes...
I don't know what is "normal" to ask people to do and I feel really bad asking people to do things, but here is a list of some of the things I have been sitting here thinking that I wish I could do now or need to do as soon as I'm allowed:
- Clean the house: Rubin is not exactly aware of when things need to be cleaned, so I feel like I am constantly asking him to do stuff around the house but he is already really overwhelmed with the boys, work, etc. I know that once I'm gone he probably won't touch anything and this place will be disgusting
- Do yard work: luckily it has been so hot and dry that our grass is pretty much dead and hasn't needed to be mowed, but I know that Rubin would really appreciate it if someone would mow for him. The front "flower beds" (I use that term loosely since there really are no living flowers) are completely overtaken with weeds and look horrible. That is something else I would usually take care of but haven't been able to this summer.
- Laundry: Again, I love my husband, but he will not do laundry unless he runs out of clean underwear, and even then he has been known to just go buy new ones to avoid laundry. It will just pile up even more than it already has.
- Kids: We have child care arranged during the day most days between daycare and Rubin's parents, but it would probably be nice for someone to come over in the evenings or on Rubin's days off (Fridays and Sundays) to watch the kids for an hour to 2 so Rubin can come over to the hospital and see me every once in a while, or just hang out and help entertain them for a little while.
- Nursery: Carter's room still is nowhere near ready for him. The furniture and everything is in there, so if it doesn't get done it can wait until I get home, but right now all of Cam's stuff is still in there, including his name hanging on the wall. We haven't been able to do anything to update it for Carter (clean/arrange the bedding, put clothes away, etc.)
- Install the car seat: We have bought a new car seat but haven't installed it yet, and that is another one of those things that I usually do and I don't think Rubin has a clue how to do.
- Meals: Honestly, with just Rubin and the boys home I think they will be okay for the most part. The boys don't really eat anything but chicken nuggets and Rubin won't eat an entire meal on his own, although I guess he could still bring me real food over to the hospital - I'm sure the cafeteria food will get old pretty quick.
- Company: Visitors are absolutely always welcome. I have spent the past 6+ weeks completely isolated from the rest of the world and am lonely and bored out of my mind. At least at the hospital I will have nurses to talk to during the day, but not being able to spend the evenings/weekends with my family will be hard. The boys really can only handle about an hour at the hospital before they get too crazy and have to be kicked out.
Okay that is all I can think of for right now, and I feel really weird about asking for this stuff. In fact, I'm debating right now whether I will actually post this. So anyway, this is me asking for help. If you are sitting at home wishing you could do something but are waiting for me to call you and ask you, it's probably not going to happen. I'm just not comfortable doing that so don't hold your breath. If there is anything you want to/are able to do just let one of us know. You can reach either one of us by phone/text/email/facebook.