I am beginning to wonder if I can do it all. I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water these days. I walked into the kitchen at work this afternoon and my director told me that I look like I've been dragging. And she's right. I've always been able to juggle everything - work, school, kids - but I'm dropping the ball lately. I am super behind at school. I have a huge project due in a month and am supposed to be halfway done with it when I meet with my professor next week but I haven't even started it yet. I'm supposed to be reading 2 different books for my other class and I'm 3 weeks behind on those. I'm supposed to be reading the bible with our church through a community bible experience, but I've only made it through a day and a half of the past 10 days readings. The laundry is piled a mile high. I haven't been working out. I've been doing terrible on my diet the past couple weeks and have been eating out more because it's easier. I was late picking Brayden up from school today. I think I'm spreading myself too thin.
Rubin is gone most weeks Mon-Fri out of town so I'm a single mom during the week. I am working 6 days a week with 12 hour days at least twice a week between work and school. My kids spend way more time with the babysitter than me and I wonder sometimes if it's worth it. I'm exhausted all the time and when I actually do get to spend time with the kids my patience is pretty thin. I keep thinking that things will slow down eventually or that I'll just get used to it but I'm starting to worry a little.
So, what am I doing about it? Sitting here writing a blog post instead of doing my homework. I guess I should put the computer down and do something productive. But I'm tired. Maybe I'll just go to bed and try again tomorrow.